Garner Haines, Screenwriter

 

TELEVISION CREDITS

Kate and Mim-Mim "Mega Music Maker"

Kate discovers that you can use other senses besides your sight to look for things when she and Mim-Mim fix the Mega Music Maker island for the Giant Squid musician Callie O'Marrie.

Kate & Mim-Mim I, Nerd Corps

Almost Naked Animals "Figure Fight "

When Howie and Octo find a rare Dirk Danger action figure, their friendship is tested as they decide what to do with it.

Almost Naked Animals III, 9 Story

Max & Ruby "Max Leaves"

Ruby uses Max as a dress dummy to work on her Fall pageant dress, but he'd rather be anywhere else, especially jumping in the fall leaves.

Max & Ruby V, 9 Story

 

TELEVISION - SPEC SCRIPTS

Corner Gas - Violation*

Oscar decides to fight a minor traffic ticket no matter what the cost. Hank sees a UFO and tries to convince the citizens of Dog River that aliens are coming.

* Winner of the 2008 Wildsound Spec TV Scriptwriting Competition!

Robot Chicken - Squeal Burp Zone

Dora and Boots go to Mount Doom.

Toopy & Binoo - The Land of Lost Things

Toopy goes off in search of a missing crayon and discovers where all the lost things go.

Atomic Betty - The Flutastic Voyage

A supervirus created by Maximus IQ threatens Admiral DuGill's life, and the rest of the Galactic Guardians, unless Betty can stop it, personally.

Wizards of Waverly Place - I Will Love You Forever

A package arrives inviting all by their true loves to a special Valentine's Day Ball, one that will last forever, if they're not careful.

The Big Bang Theory - The Quantum Entanglement Variations

Leonard gets offered a science book deal and Sheldon is jealous, Penny gets a part in a sitcom pilot, Howard and Raj shop for china patterns.

Rocket Monkeys - Time Out

Gus accidentally invents a time machine, which leads to a critical banana shortage just as Lord Peel arrives.

 

TELEVISION - ORIGINAL PILOTS

Acting Up

Adam, the third generation in an acting family, isn't sure he wants to follow in the family business.

Blood Relations

Fantasy / Horror / Comedy / Drama

After an adopted teen discovers he's a werewolf, he seeks out his birth family.

Gene's Genie

An 11 year old boy inherits a 2000 year old incompetent genie, who will grant him 333 wishes whether he wants them or not.

Gifted

Science fiction adventure comedy. Three teens discover an ancient alien spacecraft in cottage country, which gives them superpowers to help them fight other aliens.

Hercules & Me

Hercules as a teenager, is brought into the 21st century, and befriends a bullied youth, Alan.

RoboBro

A young man, desperate for attention from his workaholic parents, instead gets a new brother, one they made themselves.

The Time is Right

A reality game show in the near future, where contestants get to go back in time and save a loved one.

What is This Thing Called Love?

An alien, disguised as a human woman, comes to Earth to study love and becomes involved with an Earthman who doesn't know her secret.

 

FEATURE FILMS

Heroes in Hard Times

Action / Thriller / Drama

A paramedic discovers she can see into the future and becomes a reluctant superhero.

Leslie and Guy

Comedy / Drama

A lesbian female and straight male, both recovering from painful breakups, share their apartment and girlfriend.

The Knight in Question

Adventure / Fantasy / Comedy

A dim-witted eager knight and his stalwart companions accidentally save England.

The Morning After the Knight Before

Adventure / Fantasy / Comedy

A dim-witted eager knight and his stalwart companions accidentally avert an apocalypse.

What is This Thing Called Love?

Science Fiction / Romantic Comedy

An alien comes to Earth to study love in the guise of a human woman and falls in love with an Earthman.

 

SHORTS

She, Robot

A robotics engineer falls in love with his own creation.

Rapid Transition

A young couple fall in and out of love on the subway.

Blood

A child could save the world, but at the cost of her life.

Eat Prey

A wolf in sheep's clothing.

Retcon

A man from the future returns to his past to end his own life.

Bonsai

(Commission) A little bonsai tree dreams big.

 

NONFICTION / PERSUASIVE / CORPORATE / NOT-FOR-PROFIT / PSA

Beautiful Vuteq

Staff recruitment video for Vuteq Canada

Alan Joles Productions

Keep the Ball Rolling

Fundraising appeal video for Woodstock Soccer Club

Alan Joles Productions

Cooperation

Animated PSA for Waterloo Crime Prevention Council

Memory TreeProductions

 

WEB SERIES

The Bieber Games

Teenaged girls battle it out to see who gets to camp out closest to Justin's Stratford home.

Fat Banana and The Loser Cruiser  (developed with Erin McGechaen)

A mascot in a banana suit dealing with public transportation.

Post Modern  (developed with Mike Porter)

The misadventures of a postal spaceship in the dystopian far future.

Hockey Strike   

*Voted #6 in Podcast Salad's Top 10 video podcasts!
Now being re-released on YouTube!

Anything can happen when two slacker geeks face life without hockey in an apartment that happens to be the centre of the universe.


Zombie Night in Canada


P.I.G.S.


Three's Too Many


The Seventh Set


Pizza Dragon


The Production


Reality Check


Just Ice


Time Out     ** Also broadcast on G4 Tech TV Canada's show Torrent


The X-Flies

Spies Unlike Us

Eclipse

The 44

Shrinkage

Revenge of the Clones

Flashback to the Future

Cat Scan

Beauty and the Geeks

Geek Hard

A Geek Too Far

The DaVinci Comic

Alignment Check

Terror Error

Infinite Crisis Management

Last Call

 

Galacticast

Node 666 segment, "Apocalypse, Eh?"

 

RADIO

Post Modern: A Science Fiction Comedy of Near-Epic Proportions

First broadcast on CFRU-FM 93.3 in Guelph, February 1994. Captain John Smith and his band of misfits, try to deliver the mail sort of on time in outer space. Co-written with Mike Porter.

Post Modern 2: A New Joke

A sequel, spoof of Star Wars. The crew gets taken aboard the phone company's Dread Star. Complications ensue.

Post Modern 5: The Trigonometry of Shadow Puppets

The crew gets assigned a tour of duty at the Gateway 5 postal sorting station. Parody of Babylon 5.

Post Modern: WTF?

The postal system is in disarray after a letter bomb goes off. Someone has replaced key postal workers with clones. Nobody noticed, and nobody knows who they can trust. Parody of Battlestar Galactica.

FIREFLY: Strange Bedfellows (4 episodes)

In pre-production for audio podcast.

 

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